The Hidden Box of Desires

Last week, while exploring a client’s beliefs using META-Kinetics, we uncovered the belief ‘I’m devoted to eliminating my desires’. Our immediate response was ‘that sounds a bit strong’. My client didn’t particularly resonate with it – she’s a successful and vibrant young woman who enjoys her life and career. So we checked, and the muscle test confirmed ‘yes, that’s right’. As we tested further, the body revealed just how core this belief was.

Spontaneously Recalled Memories

As so often happens, we were doing our clearing work when a memory popped up. Suddenly she was back at 7 or 8 years old, sitting in a tree, having taken herself off from the adults who were so busy and stressed. At this young age, she made a decision: her parents were too preoccupied with important matters to bother with her. After all, they had the responsibilities of home, car, money and work to think about! Not wanting to add to their burdens, she decided that her desires were silly and unimportant. She wouldn’t add to her parents’ stress. She’d keep quiet. Her dreams could wait.

So she put her hopes and aspirations into a box at the back of her mind. When she was old enough to act on her dreams, and had the means to do so, she could reopen the box. Until then, she’d content herself with occasionally satisfying little desires, to keep the flame flickering inside.

A Lose-Lose Scenario

As a witness to humanity, and in my role as a coach and trainer, I observe and work with many adults who prioritise their roles, responsibilities and other people before themselves. They put their children, partners or other family members first. Out of love and positive intentions, many of us abandon or ignore our desires. We endure boring jobs, heavily-felt responsibilities and financial burdens in order to provide for our loved ones and offer them a better future. As we are all role models to the astute and aware younger generation, this in itself can create an ongoing trap. But my client’s belief revealed a deeper dimension to this issue. It’s not just that adults are stressed providing for their children and dependants; if children are in turn prioritising their parents’ stresses, then none of us are able to authentically express and fulfil our desires.

From a Human Design perspective, this is extremely important. Each of us is here on our very unique life path: to see the world in a specific way, to make decisions according to our individual inner authority and to have the experiences we are designed to meet. If we are putting others’ needs first, we are not living our true lives. For Projectors like me and my client, this can lead to bitterness and resentment. To Generators, who make up around 70% of the human population, it leads to deep frustration and a dulling of life experience.

Roots In Self-Devaluation

From a META-point of view, we see that this is another form of self-devaluation. Like guilt, inferiority, self-blame and unworthiness, this tendency to see others as more important than ourselves, and to put our own desires on the back burner, relates to Cerebral Medulla conflicts. It leads to aches and pains – the burden of responsibility hanging on our neck, shoulders and upper arms, the feeling of being held back felt in the sciatic nerve and hamstrings, the constraint from freely moving forwards felt in the knees and feet and so on. Aches and pains in the musculoskeletal system result directly from our feelings of self-devaluation and the limiting beliefs driving them.

Many of us have a tendency to put off what we really want. We push our needs and desires into the future, thinking ‘I’ll do it when…’. As children, we wait until we’re adults, when we see that we’ll have the means and independence to follow our heart. As adults, we prioritise our businesses and careers, waiting until we make enough money, get to a certain position or achieve a level of security before doing what we want. Perhaps we hope that our children grow up to fulfil unmet dreams. Then we retire and find other responsibilities to occupy our time and focus! The danger is that, like my client, we ignore our box of desires for so long, that we forget what’s inside it. Sometimes we even forget it’s there.

Finding A Way Out Of The Trap

How can we change this trap? It’s not as difficult as it may seem. Even reading this article provides a trigger for the unconscious mind to consider these themes. As soon as we’re told ‘don’t think of an elephant with pink spots’, naturally, the image is there! Asking yourself coaching questions supports this process.

We can ask ourselves:

• What would I be choosing right now if I was putting myself first?
• What would I be doing if these obstacles (responsibilities, money, work) weren’t an issue for me?
• Who would I be being if I was following my desires and being true to myself?
• Where in my life have I been telling myself ‘I’ll do this when…’?
• What are the dreams, goals and desires that I’ve been putting on the back burner?
• What do I really want to be, do or have?

The answers to these questions often carry within them a kernel of wisdom, a spark of inspiration. Even if your dreams seem too big or daunting to contemplate, there will be a seed within them that can become a goal, a plan or an action that is achievable and realistic. Seek the hidden truth within.  Ask yourself: what will this desire give me? What can I do NOW to bring more of this into my life?

More Awareness = More Freedom

Going deeper, META-Kinetics enables us to uncover the unconscious blocking beliefs that are holding us back. These beliefs, like my client’s decision to eliminate her desires, remain hidden until brought into conscious awareness through muscle testing and exploration. Once revealed, we can see how these decisions and beliefs have been influencing us, and can change them. Once we release these beliefs, acknowledge who we are and what we want, and take steps to move towards our truth, we not only support ourselves,  we also benefit others: by being role models of our true selves, we inspire those around us to do the same!

What did my client discover when she opened her box of desires? She experienced a place within herself that was full of light. She found a desire for adventure, creativity, experience and excitement. Her senses became heightened and the world was filled with colour.

This was what was right for her. It’s different for each one of us.